


Alstroemeria

by Nat4399



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Gen, IKEA, Pokemon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22934611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nat4399/pseuds/Nat4399
Summary: Five friends in Castelia City for the first time. So many possibilities…. share a Casteliacone, explore the street bazaar, wander the gardens, break into an IKEA in the dead of night -Wait, what?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Alstroemeria

**Author's Note:**

> For the Pokemon Special Winter Writing Event of 2020! My prompts were Moon, comedy, a Cops and Robbers OR Co-workers AU (promptly decided to ignore the OR) and the super secret key item: a whole ass IKEA. I had so much fun writing this - I hope I can get a chuckle out of you!

* * *

Midnight in Castelia City, and Moon wanted nothing more than to scream in frustration. The boy standing in her room's door wasn't the direct cause of her anxiety, but she felt like punching him nonetheless.

_Why, Arceus? What did I ever do to you?_

"Look, you know I wouldn't do this if I didn't have a choice, but here I am. So please. Help me."

 _One day,_ thought Moon. _One day I'll learn not to be passive in regards to these idiots and their plans._

* * *

**_Earlier that morning, Castelia Cafe, 10:30 am_ **

"You _what."_ deadpanned Moon, staring across the table at a courier with a grin as bright as the stars and a lack of common sense she'd never quite understood. On her left, Gladion was attempting to recover from his choking fit, setting down his midnight-like coffee as Hau thumped his back unmercifully. Lillie took the statement unreasonably well, having only raised an eyebrow.

"You heard me," snickered Sun. "I'm gonna break into the IKEA three streets down from here."

"I'd laugh, but your tone isn't funny - so I'll settle for an explanation for this _absolutely stupid idea._ When I asked about sightseeing, I certainly wasn't expecting _that."_

"Look, before you start calling me an idiot -"

"Three years too late," muttered Gladion, glaring at his cup like it contained all the _mystical powders_ Olivia and Ilima had been giggling about at their last party. Lillie reached behind Moon to smack her sibling's head, stifling her own laughs for Sun's sake.

" _Ok, boomer._ Look, I just…. I wanna act like a dumb teenager for _once_ in my life, ok? I wanna pull a harmless prank, have fun, laugh my ass off now and when I remember it five years later. It's not like we had much of an opportunity to do anything of the sort before. When was the last time you just… let loose?"

The table fell silent. The metropolitan hum of activity, of _liberation_ surrounding them suddenly felt almost stifling. 

Moon silently agreed with his logic, if not his methodology. Even now they were in Unova for work, to meet up with the head of an NGO working for Pokemon rehabilitation and welfare to discuss possible international cooperative tactics. She couldn't remember the last time she'd travelled for the heck of it. But all the same -

" - then go shopping, or binge eat Castelia Cones with Hau, or check out the Gym battles. Why is commiting a _felony_ your idea of fun?" griped Gladion.

"Because!"

"Because what?"

".... because I wanna see what an IKEA looks like."

"T _hen go now, in broad daylight, you absolute Mudbray!"_

"But where's the fun in that?! Nah, I'm gonna sneak in. Black outfits, through the ventilation systems, all the cool spy shit. Right, Hau?"

The hapless food lover flinched as Gladion and Moon turned to stare at him instead.

"I did not know about this beforehand. Gramps would kill me if I got arrested, so no way am I helping you, cousin!"

Sun smirked and leaned towards Hau, and whispered, "They have restaurants. With food you've never seen or heard of before."

Moon could practically see the voracious gears of Hau's mind use Autotomize to arrive at a "Huh. Alright. I'll come with you."

" _Hau!"_ exclaimed Lillie, balling up her tissue and throwing it in his face. "Do _not_ encourage this! And Sun, I'll come with you to the IKEA today if you want, but please don't… be drastic?"

"Leave him, Lils. Lost cause. I can see it in his eyes."

"But - we're meeting your seniors tomorrow as well - Sun, please listen to reason -"

Sun glanced at the pharmacist with a feral grin. "No chance I can convince you or Gladbag?"

" _Stop calling me that -_ and fuck no. Have fun being arrested while me and the girls enjoy a four course dinner. You hear that, Hau?"

" _IKEA has meatballs, Hau!_ Now come on, we gotta go buy thief things _._ You think we can find lockpicks in those sketchy alley markets we passed?"

"Meatballs sound interesti - _wait, Sun, lemme finish my cake!"_

Gladion stared pointedly at the sky as the robbers-to be raced away. Lillie watched them leave, with an expression Moon could almost call wistful, but she couldn't figure out why that would be. Turning to Gladion, she muttered, "Do Aether research grants cover bail money?"

"Even if they did, I'm considering revoking it."

* * *

**_Present_**

_"Lillie went with them?!"_

Gladion sighed and raked his fingers through his already disheveled hair. He looked like an upset, sleep deprived Pichu with its fur sticking up.

"She left a note… something about resonating with their idea of one night of freedom? Either way, I can't let her be arrested, so I'm going after them. I figured I'd wake you so you wouldn't panic upon finding the rooms empty, and then just decided to ask if you'd help keep them in check."

"What makes you so sure they'll be caught?" Moon groaned, rubbing her eyes and walking back into her room. "I get that Sun's reckless, but he won't put Lillie in danger. Hau would die rather than let that happen anyway."

"I know, Doc, but you know better than me that there's no precedent for the sheer chaos that combination can cause. I'd rather my sister not be collateral damage, thanks… what's wrong?"

The query came when he saw Moon rifling through her suitcase with an increasingly incensed expression. " _She took my clothes?!"_

She whirled around when she heard Gladion snort. "Her wardrobe doesn't really permit for stealth. I figured that might have happened. If you're looking for black clothing, I assume you're coming with?"

Moon facepalmed at the sheer stupidity of it all. "I can't now... all I have left are brightly colored tees. These track pants are black, but I've got no - _HHMPHHFH."_

Her vision and speech cut off as something dark landed on her head and covered her face. As she struggled to pull it off, she heard, "Got you covered. I have a spare jacket, and some old masks. Let's get going."

_I deserve all the good karma across every universe for this, damn it._

* * *

Moon climbed down the fire escape after Gladion (' _no sense in letting the hotel staff know we disappeared')_ and they took off, running through the alleys. The city looked incredibly lively in daylight, but the same streets they roamed in the morning looked menacing under the moon's stern rays. Every time she rounded a corner, she saw shadows and her heart stuttered, until she turned again and bumped into Gladion's back. She peeked around him to see a radiant Sun, yelling, "LOOK WHO'S _HHMMMPH_ -"

" _Are you kidding me?!"_ hissed Gladion, lunging forward to clamp his hands over Sun's mouth. " _First you decide to commit a crime, and then you want to be stupid while doing so?"_

"Why are you here?" murmured Lillie with her eyes locked on the ground between her feet. Moon stepped over to the blonde and placed her hands on the other's shoulders, muttering, "We knew stopping you wasn't an option. We'll settle for making sure you don't die."

As Lillie beamed at them and effectively made it impossible to be angry with her, Gladion turned his wrath on the unfortunate Hau. " _And why are you wearing the balaclava backwards?"_

For some reason, only Hau's nose was poking out of the mask, and the only sound he produced was a muffled garble. Gladion grasped his mask and yanked it counterclockwise to reveal green eyes and a pair of lips that immediately yelped, "Thank you! I tried to tell Sun something was off with the mask but he insisted it was fine…"

"Oh, I cut that hole for your hair, Hau. Didn't realise the others were at the back."

Moon stepped between the trio before Gladion made it a duo and hauled Sun and Hau away by their collars. "Let's just get this over with. I definitely don't want to be arrested alongside people dressed like this."

"Hey! We look cool!"

They looked like the opposite of cool. Sun had somehow procured the loosest turtlenecks and leather pants for him and Hau, and when combined with ill-fitting, haphazardly cut balaclavas, the two looked like they were dressed in large garbage bags. At least Lillie carried her _borrowed_ clothes off well; Moon's black jumpsuit was too slender for the blonde, but it hugged her curves in ways that distracted Hau enough to send him into a lamppost every now and then. Gladion had wrapped a third mask around Lillie's face, speaking in low tones. Judging by the way Lillie patted his face and shook her head, and Gladion's sour expression as he brought up the rear of this sorry raid party, Moon guessed she'd witnessed a last minute failed attempt at changing Lillie's mind.

The crew snuck _mostly_ quietly through Castelia's streets, making their way past the cafe that had borne witness to their tomfoolery earlier to the back entrance of the IKEA. Sun and Hau exchanged high fives, Lillie softly cheered, and then they proceeded to stare at each other silently. Despite her hardest efforts to stay silent and neutral, Moon's inner researcher bubbled to the surface as she burst out, "I'm sorry, is this part of the plan? To stand outside and study each other's facial anatomy?"

"Well, I'm waiting for the boys to open the door!" said Lillie with all the confidence of a young child. Hau nodded, smiling as well.

"You have no idea how you're getting in, do you?" quipped Gladion from his perch atop a pile of discarded boxes.

"Oh please, Gladbag, I did my research," snorted Sun, while seemingly patting himself down, searching for something in the depths of his baggy pants. "After talking to the sweet lady who owns the pastry shop next door, I found that the night guard only makes a round every three hours starting at midnight, and it's 12:45 now! We've got loads of time before - "

 _"You told me there wasn't a night guard!"_ gasped Hau, with what Moon assumed was a betrayed expression. The balaclava gave nothing away.

"I said we don't have to _worry_ about the guard. Now, he usually stays outside the front doors and checks the back entrance last, so starting at 3:00, he'll go 'round the entire place and then see the door is open, so we gotta scram before 3:30 is all!"

Gladion rolled his eyes. "This does not answer the question of how you're opening this door in the first place."

"I came prepared, king of the boxes. Take a look!" 

Sun proudly whipped something out of his pants pocket (was it a pocket? Moon hoped it was) and brandished it. Gladion and Lillie squinted.

".... is that a rusty spork?"

"What? It's a lockpick, Lillie, come on!"

"As the only one with any experience in this category, I can safely say I've _never_ seen a lockpick with large rounded edges, small broken tines, and what look suspiciously like ketchup stains."

"How much did you pay for that, Sun? And for that matter, do you know _how_ to use it?"

"You're all such downers, I swear -" muttered Sun, jamming the utensil into the doorjamb and rattling it hard. Gladion groaned, sliding off the boxes and stalking over to his side, hissing, "That is _not_ how you open a door, you stupid - _SON OF A_ -!"

Unfortunately for the reluctant tagalong, Sun had somehow forced the door open and swung it straight into the former's nose. Moon and Hau threw themselves at Gladion to prevent him from screaming and possibly assassinating Sun.

Moon and the others stared at the door leading into inky darkness, only broken here and there by indiscernible shapes. Gladion broke out of her hands on his mouth to mutter, "Suddenly the Old Megamart doesn't feel as creepy…."

Lillie flicked on a flashlight, making the other wince. "What are we waiting for? I want to see the bunk beds! Remember the one we had as kids, Gladion?"

The sibling sighed and pulled himself (and Hau, still clinging on to his back) upright. "Yes, Lillie. I remember you hanging upside down from your bunk and scaring the living daylights out of me at night. Just let me drop the dead weight off at the restaurant first."

"Thanks, cousin!"

"Hau, I think that was a gentle hint for you to get off his back."

"Are you nuts? There's no way Gladbag's strong enough to carry Hau anyway... right, let's do this - HEY, ASSHOLE, PUT ME DOWN!"

Gladion jogged away into the darkness, with a screeching Sun thrown unceremoniously on his shoulders. Hau bolted after them, and his pleading to "not leave bloodstains" faded into the distance with the boys. Moon threw herself to the ground near the door with a pained exhale. Before she could make herself comfortable, she felt a hand on her chin, pulling her face upwards to see Lillie. 

"What are you doing?"

"Standing guard, Lils. Go do whatever it is you wanted."

Lillie blew out her cheeks and pulled at Moon's hands. "What I _want_ is a night of fun with the people I care about most in this world. I'm not letting you sit here like a sad sack of Rowap berries. There's gotta be _something_ you'd like to do!"

Lillie's enthusiasm was as unfortunately infectious as ever. Moon allowed herself to be hauled up, as she whispered, "My uncle has a recliner in his office. Never got to go in there, but I want to know what the big deal is."

As Moon ran into the store with her, she noticed Lillie's smile burning brighter than her namesake.

* * *

Moon had grown up curious, inclined towards asking questions about anything and everything. She prided herself in her ability to learn in any situation, no matter how odd it seemed. Even now, she settled for standing back and observing weird things about the IKEA and her friends, like:

Lillie being extremely partial to bunk beds and belly flops into soft cushions;

Sun grabbing large sofa cushions to surf down the staircases - and getting scared witless by the particularly ugly glass Jigglypuff figurine he almost knocked over;

Gladion actually ignoring Sun's traumatized scream in favor of examining a particularly large, sturdy desk ( _"Silvally likes sitting under my table. That just makes it rise by about three feet and then I get no work done.")_

Hau finding the mattress display, and having an acrobatic tumble fest with the boys. They roped Lillie and Moon in eventually, and it turned into a battle royal faster than Moon could blink. Cushions were pelted, ridiculous jumps and tackles were made, and as they watched Sun attempt to surprise Hau, miss and go flying off the edge of a stack, Gladion and Moon finally broke into giggles.

"See? Told you it'd be fun!" echoed the courier's voice from ground level. 

"It was just amusing to watch you fall off, is all. If we're done here, can we get going?"

Moon didn't want to leave, if she was being perfectly honest. This was the most relaxed she'd been in ages, and she couldn't remember when she'd last seen Gladion laugh, or Lillie be uninhibited. But the rational part of her brain was still screaming about the undeniable risks of it all, and Gladion seconded her thoughts with a gruff, "Yeah, no sense in hanging out here any longer than necessary."

Hau rolled off the mattresses and onto Sun, saying, "Hold on! We never got to try the food!"

"Alright, let's go find the restaurant then? You know where it is, Sun?"

Sun pushed Hau off of his chest and wheezed out a "North-east corner."

* * *

"You know, if someone back home asks us about Unova's nightlife, all we can tell 'em is that the microwaves here are difficult to operate. That's kinda sad."

"And whose fault is that?! We could have gone anywhere else. _Anywhere, but we're holed up in an IKEA restaurant watching Hau fail at heating up food."_

"Take the smartass advice to this machine, cousin! _Why are the dishes still cold?"_

Moon exhaled softly and gently pushed a near hysterical Hau aside to take a look at the offending heating device. After a few button punches, she heard a series of beeps and the microwave rumbled to life. Hau hugged her from behind, crowing, "Our savior! Our master of all things technical! All hail the microwave overlord!"

She snorted as she squeezed his arms, muttering, "Of all the titles I could have earned tonight, that's not half bad. I'll take it."

The restaurant was practically a cafeteria, with a serving counter, tables and a door leading into a kitchen and storeroom, currently occupied by the five teenagers. Lillie had found a plate with rolls of some sort in a large refrigerator, and they'd made themselves comfortable in a set of bean bags Sun had dragged in. While Hau figured out the nuances of Unovan appliances, the rest had lapsed into calm conversation and laughter. The adrenaline rush from the night's events had everyone slightly giddy, and Moon noticed that even Gladion couldn't keep a smile off of his face for too long.

"Despite this next statement giving Sun the chance to gloat for all eternity, I think it has to be said. I needed this," chuckled Moon as she passed around the rolls.

"No, he can crow about this all he wants. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. And I'm sure I'll have bruises from accidentally flopping on that bedframe, but I have no regrets. Thank you for this, Sun!"

Sun squinted at Lillie, who had her hand on something dark and oddly shaped. "Um. Lils. That's not my shoulder. I'm over here." 

Hau choked and Moon burst into laughter as Lillie hastily withdrew her hand from atop a heavily stuffed garbage bag. Gladion interjected Sun's indignant yells with a smug, "I'd make a joke about taking out the trash, but it sort of made itself there."

Sun instantly pounced, and Lillie joined in the laughter as the two boys rolled about the floor spitting increasingly offhand insults back and forth. Hau wiped at his eyes with his overly long sleeves, chuckling, "It's too bad, but we should be going. Sun, you said it was 2:00 am like half an hour ago, right?"

"It's only 2:15 now - _Gladbag, I swear to the Tapus I will knee you where it hurts -"_

Gladion frowned and struggled to pull his wrist out of Sun's grasp. "That doesn't sound right, we've been here longer than that - _will you let go already, you stupid Crabrawler?!"_

Lillie knelt near the squabblers and rolled back her brother's sleeve to check his watch. The second her face paled, Moon swore, flung her plate into the garbage bag, grabbed Hau's sleeve and began to run, calling, "Alright, looks like the inevitable fuck up has occured. MOVE IT, NOW!"

"Wait, what? There's no way it's been an hour since we got to the kitchen!"

"No, but I'm guessing Sun never changed his watch over to Unova Central time…"

She heard a string of swearing and a sharp smacking sound, and Sun yelped. " _Ow!_ How the - oh yeah, time runs differently here for some reason, huh."

_"Your brain runs differently, you complete - "_

The sound cut off, suddenly, and Moon and Hau whirled around to see only the outlines of beds of different shapes and sizes. Hau suddenly clutched at her arm, and Moon swiveled to see the distinct glow of a flashlight to her far left.

_Well, shit._

"Duck and crawl, not a word. _Go!_ " she hissed. Both of them dropped to the ground and shot off in opposite directions. Moon crawled to her right until her head bumped into one of the beds. She cursed when she realised there was no place to hide under it, and opted to stand and wedge herself between two cabinets by clinging to their upper shelves.

It was pitch black, with only patches of moonlight streaming through the windows giving any indication to where anybody was. From her precarious position, Moon could barely make out Gladion and Lillie's blonde heads hiding beneath a dining table. She spotted movement to her left and caught a glimpse of Sun's petrified face before he disappeared into the darkness. Hau was nowhere in sight, and the flashlight was getting closer and closer. Moon felt like a Pidove on rail tracks. The guard was heading to her right, and the light wasn't pointed directly at her, but all it would take was one sudden swing of the torch and she'd be spotted.

_If we get out of this, I'm taping Sun's mouth shut. Permanently. Fuck, did this guy hear us?_

The guard was now roughly around where she'd seen Sun, and Moon peeked over the cabinet to see them pass by a window.

_Definitely a guy, tall, seems to be trained so I can't just take him down - is that a grappling hook?!_

Straightforward confrontation wasn't an option unless they all were together - plus, the guard seemed efficient, checking every nook and cranny. Moon ducked back down; the guard was close enough for her to track him using the swaying of the flashlight beam.

_About twenty paces more and I'm gone.. Maybe if I climb on top of this thing? No, it's definitely going to cause noise. I just need to hope that he doesn't look this way when he gets here._

_Wait, why isn't he here yet?_

Moon risked another peek, and the scene made her want to throw herself out the window.

_Screw the tape. Sun dies. I don't know why I ever held Gladion back from finishing him off ages ago._

The guard had stopped and had his torch pointed straight at a bed. Specifically, at a misshapen lump under the covers of said bed. Through the diffused light, Moon thought she could make out Gladion with his face in his hands.

As the guard stepped forward, Moon exhaled softly, let go of the cabinet shelves and slowly walked out.

_Ugh, you owe me permanent research funding for this, courier._

However, before she could do anything, a monstrous crashing sound echoed from further down the hallway. The guard's flashlight whipped 180 degrees, to where Moon could make out a broken chair, and a familiar silhouette waving his hands wildly.

The guard narrowed his eyes before glancing back at the bed - which was now mercifully lump free. Moon could tell the guy was contemplating his next move, and knew she had to act before Sun or Hau was pinned on the floor. Frantically, she began reaching her hands around her, racking her brain and surroundings for options.

_Oh Arceus, what do I do? If I call attention to myself and he comes after me, there's a 96% chance he's faster.... but the others might get away. But there's also a 78% chance it confuses him even further, and the more people he sees, the harder it it to focus… alright. Now how do I get their attenti - oh. Yes. This works._

Steeling herself, the pharmacist took a deep breath, hefted the Jigglypuff sculpture and threw it away from everyone, screaming, " _SCATTER, IDIOTS!"_

Between the sound of shattering glass, the sharp bark of "Stop right there!" from the guard, and the muffled _"Fuck, oh Arceus oh FUCK -",_ Moon's auditory sense was completely blocked. Relying completely on the moonlight and what she could feel around her, she hurtled in the general direction of the door. Around her, she could make out blurry shapes in motion; one to her right gasping and dragging a second figure with them towards the fire exit, and a third to her left trampling over whatever unfortunate furniture lay in their path. The hurdler skidded left and reached the back door first, yanking it open and revealing Hau's terrified face as he extended his arm to Moon. As she caught up to him, he stiffened and muttered, "No, oh no. Courier, where are _you going?!"_

Moon spun around to see the guard's light waving wildly and illuminating the carnage Sun was leaving behind. The Pokedex Holder was panicking, jumping from chair to table to sofa as the guard matched him move for move, slowly but steadily catching up. Moon suddenly felt a presence behind her and swung around with her torch -

"Easy, Doc, it's us! We got out through the fire escape - _what is that moron doing?!"_

"We've gotta help him before the security guy catches him!" wailed Lillie.

"Oh no no no, you've thrown yourself into enough trouble for one night - "

"Moon, take the sunshine siblings and get back to the hotel. Make sure the fire escape is open for me."

" _What_?" hissed Moon, as Hau grabbed her flashlight. "The _hell_ are you planning?"

"Gotta get my boy out of there! No soldier left behind or something, right?"

Gladion groaned and shoved something into Moon's hands - the room keys, she realized. She began to protest as they pushed her out the door, but Gladion silenced her with a curt, "You know I won't let anyone else kill him. Keep Lillie safe, I'll get these two back."

"I'd do that, except -"

"Moon, this is _not_ the time for a debate on sexism, just go - why are you looking past me? What's - _LILLIE, NO!_ "

Gladion's shriek came three seconds too late as Lillie flung herself across a lounge chair and onto the guard's back, howling, _"Get away from my friend!"_

"Yeah, so much for your chivalry. Come on, before Alola's angel gets convicted for manslaughter!"

With intermingling war whoops of _OIIIIII,_ cries for a sibling to _stay out of the fight you idiot_ , and a halfhearted _Sun you're such a dumbass,_ the trio scrambled back into the IKEA, rampaging towards the nonplussed guard.

* * *

**The next day, Castelia Café, 11:30 am**

"My hips are sore."

"My _everything_ is sore."

"You're lucky it's just bruises, you Swoobat. Believe me, if I had the energy yesterday or today, we'd be taking you back to Hau'oli City in a _cremation jar!"_

"Enough already, you two!" groaned Moon from between her hands. "My head hurts from sleep deprivation, my body hurts from bumping into a million different pieces of furniture, and my soul hurts from the whole experience."

"I feel like the trauma aged me ten years," shuddered Hau.

"Look, the important thing is that we all got out safe and sound, and no one was harmed!" said Lillie, with a hesitant smile.

"Tell that to the guard. Gladion, was all the… _tying up..._ truly necessary?"

"Doc, you saw it yourself; the guy refused to stay down, even for his own good.. I don't feel happy about what we did, but it was that or a jail cell for sure."

Moon wanted to continue chastising Sun, but caught sight of a lady waving and walking their way and sat up straight, murmuring, "I think that's her. No more mention of our dumbassery for now."

They stood up as the young brunette, with her hair elegantly pinned up in a bun and an easy-going smile, approached them. Sticking her hand out to Moon, she said softly, "The resemblance to Lady Berlitz is uncanny. Hello, Moon. I'm Whi-two, a fellow Pokedex Holder and the founder of the Pokepals Organization for Rescue and Welfare here in Unova."

"Hi! This is Sun, my fellow Dex Holder from Alola, Lillie and Gladion, heads of the Aether Foundation, and Hau, successor to the Melemele Kahuna."

"A pleasure to meet you all! No need to be formal, let's sit!" laughed the lady as she drew a chair from a neighboring table. Sun looked around with a furrowed gaze, then asked, "Um. Excuse me, miss Whi-two, but wasn't another person supposed to come with you?"

Whi-two flushed. "Ah. About that." She pulled a newspaper from her bag and spread it on the table. Moon glanced at the headline and promptly spat out her coffee.

_You've got to be kidding me._

" **Gang of Alolan ruffians break into IKEA!"**

"You see, my fellow Pokedex Holder works the graveyard shift at a local furniture store. He's the night guard, but last night some goons broke in and sort of… trashed the place."

Moon, in her despair, risked a glance at her co-conspirators. The color had drained from Lillie's face. Hau was pointedly staring at his pancakes. Sun had his face buried in the tablecloth. Gladion was reading the article, and his face was growing more stricken by the second. Whi-two seemed oblivious to the trauma around her, and continued, "Lack's pretty tough; he used to work for the International Police. But apparently when the morning guard came in, she found him tied to a hat-rack with blankets and pillow cases. Gagged too. How horrible!"

"Yes - uh - that's…. absolutely terrible."

"From what he's told me, it was a party of five, all dressed in black. I don't know if they took anything, but he didn't see their faces at all. He says he heard a few names, but apparently he was knocked unconscious by a particularly burly guy who tackled him in the back and grappled with him till he hit his head on a cabinet door. His memory is a bit fuzzy as a result."

A strangled wheeze escaped Lillie's lips.

"But - he's identified them as Alolan?"

"Oh, yes. He says their accent was distinctive. Moreover, the only thing he remembers clearly is the masks three of them wore. He recognized the pattern from old case files."

Moon's phone buzzed, and she peeked under the table to see incoming messages from Gladion.

_**From** : Partner in Helplessness _

_Just checked my phone. I might actually turn myself in. Jail is better than the alternative._

_\------ what alternative?_

**_Forwarded messages from:_ ** _Angry Plum_

  * _' **Team Skull terrorises Castelia IKEA in the dead of night'**_


  * _Kid_


  * _Kid what the actual FUCK_


  * _Ur dead, I hope u know that?_


  * _Guzma may be losing his shit laughing but im not??? im skinning u alive and feeding ur remains to the Bruxish u dipshits_


  * _He says 'nice job on the knots I taught u well' holy shit_


  * _I don't know who 2 kill first_



Moon looked back up to see Gladion staring at her with absolutely soulless eyes. She exhaled slowly, and typed a single message.

_**To** : Partner in Helplessness _

_\----- well. Time to move back to Sinnoh. Need a place to hide out?_


End file.
